I'm tired....

Usually I take things in stride. I try not to let things get me down, but recently family life has been difficult. My son Phoenix has been struggling in school (grade 2) and it's come to a precipice in the last few weeks, and especially yesterday. It's hard to have a son that struggles in school when you're a teacher yourself, and as you may know my fiance' is a teacher too, and actually first taught at Phoenix's school, but surprisingly he's dealing with it better than I am. One thing that has been happening is Phoenix has been "fighting" or arguing with a boy that bugs him/bullies him, instead of walking away or telling supervisors, which in turn gets him in more trouble. He has also harmed some younger kids by pushing on the playground, and not recognizing personal space. That's just one issue. The other issue happens in the actual classroom. He has an inability to focus, and is constantly "bored" which leads him to distract other students, fool around, and ultimately not get his work done. I have finally decided to get him "assessed" for learning/behavior difficulties, and maybe that will lead to some solutions because what we're doing now does not work.

 The main dilemma with Phoenix is that he's extremely athletic, and active, and the way our school system is designed it does not allow for students like Phoenix to learn the way he needs to learn. As a teacher I know how difficult it is to adapt things like math, science and social studies for multiple learning styles, but I bet if Phoenix were running, and playing sports, and singing all day, he would love school, but he does not.

Here are some things he said yesterday:

"I'll tell you a secret Mommy. I hate school, and I don't think I can make it."

"I just want to stay at home and do Ian's job." To which I said, what's Ian's job? And he said "You know, play outside, go for walks, do house stuff." (Ian is a substitute teacher, so he's sometimes home alot, depending on the week....)

"I am not ready to be real." (and I asked about this, and what he meant is what a lot of us feel, he's not ready to live in the real world with homework, and school etc...)

"I am a stupid boy, and can't finish school."

I told him that his teacher and the school councillor thought he was sad and mad all the time and he said, "That's the meanest thing anyone could say! Why would they say that about me?"

What scares me about this is that he's thinking WAY into the future. He's talking about not making it to greade 12. When I was in grade 2 I barely thought about the next day, much less 10 years down the road.

The most distressing part about this is that he's extremely smart. He's an amazing speller, a very fluent reader, he speaks very intelligently, and it just doesn't make sense why he hates school, and is bored. It would make sense if he was a genius, but he has his struggles too (with writing, and math) so it's just frustrating.

He is such a sweet boy, but he's just so sad and frustrated, and something is locked up inside. I really hope that we pull through this soon, so he can start to be a normal kid, with normal kid worries, and normal kid happiness.

My boy......

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